Cows..and capitalism

Cows and Capitalism
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You sell one and buy a bull.
* Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
* You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM :
* You have two cows.
* You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned
by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to
your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public buys your bull.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
* You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce 20 times the milk
* You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them
worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk
themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
* You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
* You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* You count them and learn you have five cows.
* You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
* You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
* You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
* You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
* You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* You have 300 people milking them.
* You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the numbers.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* That one on the left is kinda cute...

Excellent.

You missed the obvious;

AN IRISH CORPORATION:
* You have two cows.
* The government forces you to hand them both over to the public sector. (In a subtle non-direct kind of way)
* The cows starve as the public sector sifts though the paperwork.

...or were they tigers?

AN IRISH CORPORATION:

* You have two cows.
* You're told you have to apply for planning permission for the cowshed.
* A leading Govt. member asks for a lend of one of your cows but has nowhere to keep the milk - this doesn't seem to bother him or strike him as odd in the slightest.
* You make a political donation of thousands of litres of milk.
* You get planning permission and build a enormous cowshed, complete with extension; despite the fact that you only have one cow and not much milk.
* You sell the cowshed and get out of the dairy business just before the manure hits the fan and head for pastures new...